What Keeps me Busy!

Since I am now a SAHM. I've decided to join a playgroup for my son, William. I've also relocated so I totally don't know anyone in this town. I must say that the neighborhood is safe, family-oriented, and peaceful. To my surprise, this playgroup is so much fun. I think William is not getting much enjoyment from it than I am but it's an added activity to my things-to-do list that keeps me busy.

My typical playdate is usually done mid-week and starts at 11:00. The host usually serves lunch while we bring food for our little ones. What do we do? We, mommies, chat and talk about anything under the sun. We usually talk about the development of our babies...who's fat, who's just right, who's not growing right, we talk about what they can do, what they can't do, what they drink, what they eat, etc. Then we talk about losing weight, going to the "glorified" gym, and TV shows. Why do I say "glorified" gym? Because there's this gym that's state of the art (so they say) where I feel every mother, father, or everyone in this community go to and that if you're not in it there's something wrong with you. Right...I'm not in it for certain reasons.

I am quite lucky that the playgroup I've joined happens to have 4 babies who are 6 months of age and the rest fall below that age group or are siblings of these babies.

After being in a small town for years I am thankful that I am given a chance to meet other mothers who are in different fields. I say this because I used to be surrounded by teachers. Most of the mothers in my playgroup are actually wives of people working in Continental, wives of hubbies in oil, and wives of hubbies in finance. Take note, they are not snobs. This is definitely a change.

A typical playdate ends at around 1:00 PM. I head up and do my errands with William and then go home. The playdate ends and here we are, looking forward to the next.

Tied the Knot!

with the Best Men
Bridal Party
Nephews
with Parents
at last!
Petal Toss
Cake Slicing
Finally, the wedding is over and everything went well. It was almost a year of preparation, a month of being with family from Scotland and the Philippines, a week of people from all over the States, and a lifetime of memories. The wedding was wonderful.

Days til the Big Day

A week and a half to go and I'm tying the knot. I can't believe that the big day is nearing. I remember that I had a year of wedding prep and now, time is flying so quickly.

Anyhow, I'm very excited. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with Alan. I can't wait to enjoy the summer with him.

THE ONE

I've come across this blog written by a thirty year old woman. The blog started with the question," How do you know you've met the one?". Recently, I've been bombarded with negative things about married life including stories about being unfaithful due to not having strong feelings for the partner. Since I'm Miss In-love with Love, I'll try my very best to negate the negative things I'm hearing into a positive. Think math (a negative and a negative make it a positive)! I'm still not affected by all these negative things. I still have a positive outlook in love no matter how screwed up the stories I've been hearing are. To prove a point, I asked "the fiance" about this.

This is what he said:

"It's not about not having strong, crazy feelings for someone (this is a little bit edited but the gist is intact) or being inlove, it's about making a marriage work."

Then, while reading the blog I've mentioned earlier, the blogger asked her Mr. Right the same thing..."How do you know you've met the one?"

Here's what he said:

"There is no ONE. No one that exists out there in pure form, in spiritual perfection, in theoretical bliss. We make it the one every single day…in what we say to each other, in how we treat each other, in what we do together. On dog walks and in car rides, over dinners and through disagreements. So stop looking for some theoretical one out there in never-never land. And agree to make this the one, each and every day, with me."

Very well said. I rest my case.

FOR THE SINGLE WOMAN AND BEYOND

An Open Letter to the Concerned Family and Friends of Thirty-something Single Women*

Dear CFF,

This letter aims to address several areas that have been brought up to our attention repeatedly, i.e. every occasion that requires people to bring their significant others and we turn up alone and dateless. While we appreciate your well-meant comments about the state of our ovaries, please take a moment to hear our side.

1. We are not unhappy. Where you got the idea that single women mope around whining about the fact that they don’t have someone, we will never know. We try to live our lives as best as we can, and I think we’re doing good. Most of us are professionals successful in our respective fields, independent, smart, well-traveled, and knowledgeable about a lot of things. While it might appear that we are obsessed (and sometimes we are) about our Jo Malones, Lampe Bergers, Havaianas, gadgets and such, we are not compensating the lack of a man’s presence in our lives by being materialistic. We can afford what we obsess about anyway, with our own hard-earned money.

2. We don’t envy married people, and we have reason to believe that some of them envy us and our lifestyles. Judging from statistics, couples are more caught up in the wedding than the marriage itself. True, there are many couples who are the best fit for each other (hurray for you guys), but how many marriages dissolve before they reach their tenth anniversary? I have lost count of newlywed girl friends advising her single friends not to rush it, and coming from someone who’s married for only two months, that’s a little scary. Take somebody who’s been married for more than ten years and ask him/her straight if they’re truly and deeply happy inside out with their lives. Chances are they will say, “Yes, because we have kids.” Which is the biggest bullshit. Marriage is about two people who rock each other’s world, and working at it until one partner’s breathing stops. Children are just a bonus. A good marriage should be able to work even without producing offspring.

3. That brings us to another thing, children. Yes, we are aware that women have biological clocks, that past the age of 35 it would be rather difficult to conceive, blah blah blah. Contrary to the winning answer to a beauty pageant question, having children is not the end-all be-all of a woman. What about those who cannot bear a child because of nature’s bad joke? Will she lose her life’s meaning just because she can’t bring another life into this overpopulated world? While we acknowledge the fact that children do bring meaning to their parent’s lives (see Doodle, Abbey), we can be mothers to children not our own. It can be our own nieces and nephews, or kids we haven’t even met yet (see World Vision).

4. We don’t subscribe to the crap that we have to have children so someone will take care of us in our old age. It’s unfair to the child, that he’s brought here for a purpose. I once saw on a TV documentary a couple who has 21 children, and when asked why do they have so many, the father answered “Isa dyan ang mag-aahon sa amin.” To pass that burden to your children is not right, and to have kids for that sole purpose is just plain sick.

5. We don’t hate men. We like them very much, as a matter of fact (see Trillo, Dennis; Ventimiglia, Milo; Pitt, Brad; Underwood, Blair; et al). However, we are old enough and know enough not to settle for just anybody. Most of us have had strings of failed relationships under our belts, and we have learned from them. We have done our share of compromises and sacrifices, yet we know that if one day we wake up and we don’t recognize ourselves anymore, it’s time to run as far away as we can from the man. We’re not stupid. We’d rather be alone than to be with somebody who needs our constant assurance and coddling, then we turn our backs and they go off chasing lampposts with skirts.

6. In line with that, don’t set us up with your loser friends, or the loser sons of your friends. We can manage to find our own dates, thank you very much. We can go to dinner with our friends instead if we don’t have dates, and we can pay for it. We don’t need dates to take us to fancy places, because most probably we’ve been there already.

7. Don’t harp about our age. Don’t keep on saying that we’re of the marrying age, that at our age you already have three children. It’s different now. We have so many options we’re actually overwhelmed which one to take first. French or Spanish? Capoeira or Muay Thai? Bangkok or Singapore? MBA or some other degree? US, Canada, or Australia? Visa or Mastercard? Wedge or stilettos?

8. We’re not bitter. We’re not cynical. We’re just grounded, sensible people who believe that if there are fairy tales and happy endings, there are also villains. We know that beauty, riches and fame are not enough to bring you happiness (see Aniston, Jennifer; Aquino, Kris; Gutierrez, Ruffa; Barretto, Gretchen; Quiambao, Miriam; et al). We believe that we should first be happy with who we are before we can be happy with someone else. We know that men will not complete us, rather they should complement us. We have to make peace with ourselves and our flaws first lest we bring that baggage into a promising relationship.We hope that the above points are clear enough.

This is our cue to get out our AK-47s and start shooting people at random.

So please, read the memo.--------* Straight single women. The girls who like girls can say their own piece, and no, we don’t have anything against them.